


Blood-Related

by MERSCoV



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Brotherly Love, Family, Friendship, Gen, Grief, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-13 06:49:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1216651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MERSCoV/pseuds/MERSCoV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Fenris was jealous of Hawke, and one time he wasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blood-Related

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of a personal headcanon of mine, considering my love of Fenris and Bethany's dynamic as well as my curiosity involving how it might affect his opinion of Hawke. I think that one of the main reasons he is so amiable to Bethany is that her dynamic with her older sibling subconsciously reminds him of how he was with Varania because there are some things so ingrained in a person that traumatically induced amnesia can't erase them.

Garrett Hawke looked to the smaller girl by his side, their hair the same, their eyes the same. He made a comment. She laughed in turn. He elbowed her shoulder, and she made a jovial complaint.

All the while, the elf strayed at the back of the party, watching the display in front of him. Fenris was not often taken with Hawke in the earlier years. After all, Hawke was nothing if not protective of his apostate sister, and Bethany was always at his side. It was puzzling in its familiarity. Such easy affection made him uncomfortable, reminding him far too much of a viper about to strike. He saw love and companionship as pretty promises bordering on the edge of his consciousness, cruelly mocking in a voice all too familiar. In this manner, love and companionship were to be avoided. To Fenris, such things lured him into weakness to the extent of reopening old wounds. In retrospect, some of these wounds he hadn't even known of at the time.

Still, the Hawke siblings had a bond unlike any other. He did not know either well, but even _he_ could tell that the brother's abrasiveness gave way to gentle ribbing in her presence and the sister's benign politeness became loving irritation in his. As strange as it was, it held a certain appeal he could not shake off.

_Blood is thicker than water._

But that saying is far more loaded than most tended to realize.

  
\-----

When Fenris saw the inside of Gamlen's home for the first time, he did not expect to like it.

The wooden floorboards beneath the several sets of feet creaked and groaned if one stepped wrong, some of the planks even half-chewed by termites and other such pests. Even so, the walls were covered in even more dirt than one would expect on the ground, and he wondered if the ceiling was to collapse at any moment. Considering the weak state of the house's - _hovel's_ , he should say- foundation, he was surprised it had stayed upright this long. Homes in Tevinter - modern Tevinter, unlike the old "glorious" Imperium's extravagance without forethought- were, at the very least, _sturdy_. It was as if Gamlen's home was built by a monkey entrusted with some blocks of wood and a tub of paste to glue it all together.

He scowled, mouth nearly twisting into a sneer. And the _smell_. It was some foul mixture of ale, vomit, sewage, and-

His back collided into the floor below, a large mass having tipped him over as if he were but a fragile vase rather than the strong pillar he had attempted to become. Something wet lapped at his cheek, panting and bad breath clouding the elf's senses.  
Still, he managed to identify the last of the horrible odors: wet dog.

"Sorry," Bethany smiled apologetically, "He's a little over affectionate." She shot a knowing look at her brother, mirth dancing in both their gazes.

"Hey," Hawke smirked, " _I'm_ not the one who turned the warhound into a glorified nursemaid."

A door swung open into the already tiny room just as Fenris's hand reached to pet the canine still pinning him to the ground. "What is all this bickering about?" came a new voice, the tone a comforting cadance of annoyance and exhaustion.

The voice belonged to a woman with greyed hair and a peasant dress, jaw nearly identical to that of her children and eyes keen with an anxiety the young were never plagued with. She stopped when she saw the Hawke siblings' companions. "Aveline! How are you doing?" She ran to hug the redheaded guardswoman, only to nearly trip over Fenris and the mabari hound resting on top of him.

"Oh, hello! I am so sorry! I didn't see you down there." She proceeded to scold the dog for scaring guests and shooed him off before continuing that thought. "I'm Leandra. You are one of Garrett's friends?"

He glanced over at the Hawke siblings, the brother grinning and giving a thumbs up.

"Yes," the elf finally answered, picking himself up off the floor. They were apparently friends, but Fenris knew they were not family, that he was intruding on a world he did not belong. This warm, foul-smelling place with dogs and mothers and free affection was no place for an escaped slave that could barely grasp the freedom in arm's reach.

 

\------

"I believe you."

Fenris crushed her heart, the harpy in turn crumbling into herself with a final sigh. It did not make him feel any better. "We are done here," He said, wanting to leave as soon as possible.

He turned to leave, passing a disgruntled Hawke.

"Fenris, you said you wouldn't-"

"Ha!" He spat then, " _That's_ what her bloody deal was worth."

"Fenris-" Hawke tried again, eyes unable to meet those of the elf in front of him.

But Fenris hasn't finished ranting. "This could be a trap! Danarius could have sent her here to tell me...about this "sister." Even if he didn't, trying to find her would prove to be suicide! Danarius has to know about her and has to know that _Hadriana_ knows... But all that matters is, I finally got to crush that _bitch's_ heart. May she rot and all mages along with her." It was one of those times where he seemed to almost forget that Hawke had apostates for a father and a sister.

"Fenris, you forget who you're talking to." There was a dangerous edge to that voice, like Hawke was readying himself to defend his sister's honor all over again. As if Bethany were still with them, as if she hadn't rotted away in the Deep Roads with her taint. "Did you forget Bethany too? You two were friends once. Hate Hadriana and Danarius and the magisters all you want, but, Maker forgive me, do _not_ forget who Bethany was and who _I_ _am_." There is a hint of desperation then, clinging to whatever memories of his baby sister he had left.

"I haven't forgotten," Fenris countered, unable to stop himself, "But you _saw_ what was done here. There's always going to be some reason, some excuse why mages need to do this."

"You damned well know they are not all like your magisters," Hawke replied with venom in his voice.

"And who should be our example? Anders? Merrill?" Even as he saw Hawke's jaw clenching with fury, he continued, "Tell me, what has magic touched that it doesn't spoil?"

"Bethany," Hawke snarled, disgusted, "Bethany is our example. All she ever did was care: care about mother and father, about me, Carver, Anders, Varric, even _you_ , Fenris! She said her prayers and did everything she could to be a good little girl, but even _that_ didn't save her in the end. Imagine how she'd feel if she could hear you right now."

"How easy it is for someone with _family_ to-"

"Fenris, we _were_ your family. And the only reason you aren't going to go find your sister is _you._ "

Fenris stormed off, having had enough of this conversation. Even as guilt prickled at the edge of his consciousness, he did not dare to turn back and apologize. He saw that as giving up, and Fenris was nothing if not stubborn.

 

\------

Months later, Fenris sat at the desk, looking over the letters of correspondence. He was in part grateful of Hawke's reading lessons and in part guilty about the things he had said to the man he called a friend. As angry as he was, he had no right to take it out on Hawke. He himself was familiar with what it meant to reopen old wounds. He should have known that disparaging mages would have been a sore subject.

But then he saw Hawke come into the mansion, and he instantly went to apologize, to let out all the doubts that were circling about in his mind.

"I've been thinking," He started, "about what happened with Hadriana. I- I took my anger out on you, undeservedly so. I was... not myself. I'm sorry."

Hawke only smiled a brittle, barely there sort of smile and said, "It's alright. People take their frustrations out on me all the time."

"If you wish," though it hurt to offer, "I can go. I would understand... What with what I said about..." He found he didn't have it in him to complete that thought, but, from the faraway look in Hawke's eyes, he thought that the human understood what he meant.

"That's not necessary, Fenris. I...should apologize too. What I said to you was just as uncalled for." He offered a hand, "Friends?"

And Fenris took it, "Friends."

Hawke sat himself down in a nearby chair, "So, Varric said that you and your sister have been communicating. I'm glad."

"That I'm practicing my writing?"

"No, that you're _talking_ to her. I was half-afraid that you thought it too much of a risk to so much as contact the girl."

"I did, however. I followed up Hadriana's information, and, as it turns out, what she said was true: she's not a slave. She's a tailor, in fact. Getting a letter to her was difficult, and she didn't believe me at first but..."

"Well, you have a sister," Hawke summarized with a smile, leaning forward in his chair, "How do you feel about that?"

"I am not sure, but perhaps it is time I find out." And, for the first time in a very long time, Fenris felt some semblance of hope.


End file.
